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2016-12-12 07:24 pm

Proof that I'm still alive!

Progress is an odd thing.

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2016-04-30 05:12 pm

And my feet are dry, too!

This is actually a pre-written note as I did it when my internet was dicey, and it will be posted in a moment when it works (connections aren’t the best up here).  I officially in no way regret updating some of my personal equipment that hadn’t been changed, in some cases, since before I was actually born.  For example, my old compass was something my father used in the 60’s and it no longer pointed.  I replaced it with a really nice Cammenga during my last birthday, which was very useful this weekend when no one’s cell-phone based GPS worked properly (all we had to do was know which face of the mountain we were on, too…).  My little ham radio again got out a signal when cells didn’t work.  Last time I was out in town with Richard we popped by a outdoors shop where I got some waterproof notepads, which saved the day when we were hunting salamanders in a downpour, same for putting a space pen refill in my stainless steel monster pen (I’m not replacing it, it’s just about indestructible, but for a ballpoint pen it’s the refill that makes the difference).  The best update was the waders that Mom said I needed after a snake incident, she was right, they were wonderful, and I plan to use them again to scout out the parts of the swamp where you can’t walk normally.  My shoes are still dry a few days into this!

Tomorrow I will wrap up my activities here and head back.  I wound up having to take my own car unexpectedly, but just last weekend my battery died which caused me to replace it, BEFORE I did all this.  The timing really worked in my favor.
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2016-03-31 09:05 pm

Alien workers and other rants

Posting to prove I'm still here, you know how clueless people only read a headline and didn’t bother reading the story before forming a strong opinion?  It looked like fun, so I decided to try it!

Everyone’s going on and on about ‘alien worker rights’.  I have to say, I’m against them.  Those grey probe-happy morons have been abducting people since the 50’s, sure, but you call that WORK?  In my day, we called it ‘kidnapping’ and last I checked, it was a crime in this state!  That’s not work!  And then we talk about how badly the alien workers are abused in agriculture.  Big deal!  Look at all the damage their blasted crop circles do TO the farmer’s field before you start complaining about how it impacts the aliens!  Let’s face it, those flying saucers were never meant to drive through a field of grain, and any idiot knows it!  Some farmer takes exception to it and wings one of those bug-eyed monsters, I say they brought it on themselves!  Keep out of the fields destroying people’s livelihoods, ya interstellar vandals, and quit demanding rights after you do it.
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2016-01-15 08:24 pm

Still kicking!

I know I haven't put up much, but I just wanted to let everyone know I'm fine except the semester is a lot more packed this time than normal.  On a more recent-events front in education, I was sorry to hear about the passing of Professor Snape, though after he was shot by Chewbacca and then attacked with a lightsaber by Lara Croft, I wasn't too surprised.
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2015-12-14 07:14 pm

Racism is idiotic. If you're going to hate, go ALL OUT.

People are always talking about racism. I think it's stupid. If you are going to hate something, go ALL the way, and be SPECIES-IST! Heck, go all the way to genera! I myself like to pull out all the stops and hate an entire taxonomic family. Culicidae, the mosquito family, gets most of my hatred, and by sheer number of people killed each year, they're the most dangerous animals on earth. I am also an anti-subclass Acarina, stemming from a nasty bought of both Rocky Mount and lime disease a while back. I will never willingly be in the same room with a tick that I haven't preserved for future study. I have a personal death squad made entirely of guinea hens that patrol my yard over this, trespassers will be mauled. If I’m going to be prejudiced, I’m not cutting corners.  God made all men equal. Many arthropods can kiss my mammalian…oh, wait, they can’t.  I was just saying that.
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2015-12-03 07:44 pm

Biologists for Batman. And also we need a new wildlife preserve.

I had some ask today who I was rooting for in the new movie with Batman and Superman fighting. I got a lot of people annoyed because I put it from the biological viewpoint.  I would go with Batman, as he’s a native species to the planet, but turning Superman loose on Earth is actually the same as introducing a foreign species into an alien environment, and how often has THAT (mongoose in Hawaii, rats in the Galapagos, cane toads in Bermuda) ever worked out?

On the other hand, it can be easily argued that Superman is a critically endangered species.  There IS one female of his kind if Supergirl exists in whatever world the movie is in. For those worried about cousin marriage, when we’re faced with real extinction level threats we’ve often inbred specimens simply to get SOMETHING to work with, though it’s also possible to try to hybridize the few specimens we have with those species to see if we can preserve at least part of their line.  Look up Lonesome George and the attempts to keep his line going (which ultimately failed, I’m sorry to say). Even so, we might want to keep Lois Lane and Jimmy Olson around just in case.

Of course, it is entirely possible that Mr. Mxyztplk has done just that, and the entire comic world is actually a big attempt at a breeding project.  Superman has never realized that he’s inside a fake city and everyone else is just pretending to go about their business. Mr. and Mrs. Kent were actually hand puppets to get him to imprint on something that looked like his own kind. The occasional fifth-dimension nuttiness is just a front to get in and clean the cage. It worked for vultures. After all, what really ARE the chances that an alien would land on a planet where everyone looks just LIKE him…?
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2015-11-23 08:53 pm

Spoilers for the Force Awakens!

Seeing as the internet is rife with speculation and opinions based on nothing at all, similar to what I saw with the Harry Potter book releases, I am going to jump on the bandwagon and post my REAL spoilers for the movie in advance, based on inside sources. Most notably, Patches, who was inside my pillow case last night for some reason. I interpreted his snoring like the oracles used to do at Delphi, except with less volcanic gas because he’s a lot better when it comes to that sort of thing than Sam the pug is.

So here are spoilers at least as authentic as anything else you will find on the net!

-The title of the movie has been changed to “The Force is Bacon” to take advantage of everyone who likes bacon for viral marketing.

-Luke Skywalker IS Kylo Ren!  He is ALSO Princess Leia.  And Jabba. Luke Skywalker is, in fact, almost every single character in Star Wars, due to having a nervous breakdown a while back. The entire movie takes place in a solitary confinement cell in a psyche ward.

-The cigarette companies, seeking to find ways to get product endorsements in the modern era, have also bought controlling interests in a few characters, who are now called “Jar Jar Stinks like a chimney” and “Chew-bacco” respectively.

-The crazy people who were actively whining about no white males being in lead roles are finally vindicated when it is realized that Han Solo has been a woman all these years. The way Harrison Ford plays her, though, you can see the confusion. He makes the character come across as rather masculine.

-It is revealed that the last words the commanding officer of the crashed Star Destroyer in the trailer said was “I’ll never let go” which explains WHY all those Storm Troopers look so ticked off.
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2015-11-15 08:44 pm

He doesn't shoot lightning but he can reek of evil...

That awkward moment when you realize your old deformed dog...

Is a Sith Lord.
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2015-10-23 04:09 pm

Bleak for the Future

Ok, everyone, I am just going to burst the bubble now.  The Back to the Future 2 movie was FICTION.  What really happened was Doc built a DeLorean time machine, took it into 2015, looked around, went back to 1985, and promptly sold off all his GM stock and bought Apple and, when the time was right, Google.  He’s now a multi-millionaire, so that part was a happy ending.  Still, that’s why they had to change so much in the film when they documented his story because the real events were just…boring.

I’m sorry if this goofs up everyone’s Back To The Future related fun, but let the overly inflated legend DIE already…
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2015-09-24 09:08 pm

Dating fail for flailing frog

Three dogs were just staring at their water dish today. Investigation revealed a leopard toad, swimming around in it (INSIDE the house) singing to try to attract a female.

This shows very poor judgment on the part of the toad, which was IN the house, AND nowhere near a female while surrounded by confused dogs.  Not to mention the fact that a dog’s water dish must be the frog equivalent of the back seat of a used car as far as dating issues are concerned, so I don’t think this was going to work. Maybe he thought Sam was a female? He continued to sing while Mom held on to him after the frog was removed from the dish. He didn't want to go. This is not the brightest frog.

He’s been given to my sister, who’s yard toad recently passed away. She has space set aside for new ones, and hopefully he will meet someone and not try the dog dish again.
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2015-09-10 07:23 pm

So now I’m making weapons for the Vogons, apparently.

I caught Shaun (wheaten terrier of some sort) trying to bite Sam (one eyed rather dim pug) in the little boy-dog parts, which he has been prone to doing when Sam has to go potty but no one else has noticed. It does not help. I found myself yelling “Stop that! Stop biting Sam’s weenie!” and I realized that my day has been going so badly, I might as well make a poem out of it.

Don’t bite his weenie!
Don’t bite his weenie off!
If you do,
We’ll have to use it to play golf.
‘Cause he won’t have no balls.

If I ever become poet laureate of the United States, just remember that my plan to destroy the Earth with Vogon techniques is right on schedule.
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2015-09-08 08:06 pm

Where? Or WHY?

"Where's Waldo?" they ask. They do not know of what they speak. Where means nothing. It is more a question of HOW. HOW can this man, always smiling, remain so calm in the face of unspeakable horrors that man in his limited capacity has never considered the mere concept of, much less confronted it. And yet seeing these horrors, Waldo merely-Oh, wait, here he is. Behind the gumball machine in the corner. Never mind.
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2015-08-10 09:35 pm


Darn it, New England Patriots, leave my dog alone!

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2015-08-06 12:31 pm

Today's horror-scope

I noticed horoscopes are never that great, but would probably work better if people used old movies instead of astrology. My horror-scope made using this method proved surprisingly helpful the other week: "You will be tempted to make an alliance with Dracula and the Wolfman. Hire the Creature from the Black Lagoon to guard the moat when the peasants storm your castle after you reanimate that corpse. Fools, you'll show them all!"

This method is a lot better than my idea for modifying the Roman methods of divination through reading the flight of birds. I tried to use the movements of a pug-dog and my forecast came out as "You will lie face down respiring entirely through snorts, only to wake yourself up with a loud fart, causing you to run in little circles barking hysterically". This is why it's a good idea to interpret these omens less literally.
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2015-08-04 01:22 pm

Tool use, Superman, Batman, and Human

I was thinking about something in light of the new movie coming out, the various cartoons with the same plot over the years, and something my sister said when Batman/Superman movies started to be made again in the first place. She said, in relation to the armored looks, that it made sense for Batman, who she’d assume would wear whatever made sense in what he was going in to, but for Superman it didn’t work as he could be stark naked in the fight and still be Superman.

It’s an interesting point, and I got to thinking: You can tell who is the ‘most human’ based on just their tool use. Humans are a tool using species, fundamentally. If you give a person a task they will often look around briefly just out of instinct, to see if there’s something that can help. We do it all the time without thinking. Thousands of tools, from a sharp rock to an airplane, all of which are made by people to be used by people for different jobs. Batman takes this and makes it a part of his whole character, as the gadgets are just about integral to the whole myth. Superman, though, tends to skip tools and runs around in a very simple costume. He uses his own body, and in those situations where that’s not a viable option for some reason, he usually does very badly. His method of handling things is actually more similar to what you’d see in an animal, using those aspects of his biology that are useful and hoping nothing comes up that would make those adaptations useless.

So if we see the movie later and one just lunges while the other reaches for a tool, I think we can guess who’s actually human even if the movie uses the shaky cameras that make me hate most recent movies, because I can’t ever seem to see what’s going on.
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2015-07-07 07:21 pm

Logical paths and all that.

Well, I said when the court ruling came through that polygamy was next and everyone got mad at me. They also got mad at me years ago when I said it the first time. Here it goes anyway, someone has filed for a license:
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2015-07-06 08:53 pm


Just a quick repaint to give Combiner Wars Groove a gun. It's an old G1 Slugfest gun with no chrome left on it after all this time. I found, testing it out, that it holds up just fine and connects to the side like a decent saddlebag, so I painted it black:

It's not as big as it looks in the picture, he's just holding it oddly. I can't seem to get it at a good angle, this was best of four tries. I may dremel out a small amount on the inside to increase clearance a bit.
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2015-07-04 10:46 pm

Also, remember the war between Grey and Grey?

It’s the Fart of July! And in this moment of reflective tootness, let us look upon the black, red and green polkadot to remind us all on why we should never let blind AND colorblind animals decorate for this occasion.

We tried to help Sam to feel more American, but we found out he has a pot problem. And a pan problem. Luckily he has a towel if he has to red white and poo.
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2015-06-29 08:41 pm

Illegality and good ideas

As the joke apparently didn’t make sense to many, I will clarify it bluntly: I won’t date a guy because I don’t like guys, period. That is not the same as thinking it should be illegal. You’d be surprised at the number of things I don’t think should be illegal. If you do not hurt someone, I usually don’t care.

However, that does not mean I think your life choices are necessarily a good idea, and I’ve said so to many people over the years. I am trying to make sure I never compare a girl I can love forever to anyone else as a courtesy to her. I have friends who change partners like I change batteries in a flashlight. They are not me, I am not them, and confusing your own view of the world for ‘how it actually is’ is just about as sane, to me, as thinking that because you believe wholeheartedly that the sky is blue, doesn’t mean that someone who can’t see that color believes it is grey from a lifetime’s experience, or someone who sees other colors believes it is purple shifting with multiple bands depending on which direction you're facing. You don’t know why the person says what they say and unless you find out what’s going on, you will always believe they are crazy. And even if you do understand, you still may not agree.

I’m not even sure that makes sense, but I tried.

Welcome to my world.
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2015-06-28 09:41 pm

And what if a LOT of people...

Ok, my only comment on the whole marriage fiasco boils down to what I said when someone tried to take a poll on it at NC State 15 years ago. They asked if I was "for or against gay marriage." I said "Against". They said "Why?" I said "I don't like guys, they're hideous." They then flipped through their little rebuttal card, and finally told me my opinion was not listed.

On the other hand, let me go ahead and get everyone mad by saying as there are generally more female humans in the population than males anyway, if some of those males marry each other in monogamy and remove themselves from the math, it does tilt the odds further in my favor.

Of course, polygamy will be the next stage of this fight as you can't have marriage equality if you continue to exclude a definition of love and marriage that many people still practice and have practiced for far longer in history, which actually came up in oral arguments before the court. That won't help me at all (see population estimate above).

Either way I still want ONE girl for literally forever who I can concentrate on entirely and ignore everything else. As such, this decision actually does nothing to me at all, which I think is the best definition of any legal action to speak of.