May. 10th, 2015

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After some comments that I will assume were sarcastic and a suggestion to watch Invader Zim, which turned out to be hilarious, I will just go ahead and admit that I don’t think I’m cut out to be a ‘paranormal investigator’. Let’s face it, I just don’t ignore reality enough, or on those occasions I do, I’m not sure my own version of reality would work for TV as most of the time it doesn’t photograph well.

Take ghost hunting for example. I didn’t get it. HOW do you expect to take a picture of something that doesn’t reflect light? Or audio-record something you claim is psychic and isn’t using air-vibrations to talk at all? I think driving around looking for ghosts is a waste of gas, I’m reasonably sure I could get just as good a set of results with a lawn chair.

I’ve also never, to the best of my knowledge, seen an alien spacecraft. This one isn’t as hard, because that sort of thing is pretty easy to fake if you can find the Wal-mart clearance rack and don’t sweat production quality (see below), but the fact that I’m not willing to rant about it enough to get myself arrested means I am likely deficient when it comes to this job too:




And bigfoot photographs are a HUGE problem for me, as the only semi-bipedal hairy thing in my woods and I do not really get along well enough to stage photos. The swamp bear and myself both hold the opinion that the other one is a potentially dangerous nut with a long species history of violence for no readily apparent reason. As such, on the extremely rare occasions we get within sensory range of each other, we BOTH tend to head somewhere else immediately. So far, no one has offered to mediate the issue (my own mother says me and the bear are probably BOTH right and would likely have mutual “accidents” if we got anywhere near each other, she apparently doesn’t trust EITHER of us). This makes taking a blurry movie very difficult, and my wildlife camera takes way too clear of pictures to be good for this type of job.

I think I’m out of luck.

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